It seems you were too much of a coward to admit what you’d done, or accord John the credit or the immense service he did to you and Thomas.You know, sometimes I wonder if you, the super-religious saint in the family even thought of that teaching in the gospels. John GOT YOU OFF. You made John into an enemy, and John got you off. “Do good to those who persecute you.” I think it goes. Didn’t impress you though, did it? Get that Peter? You don’t really understand or follow the core teaching of your own religion.I say to you again, before God, and may I burn in hell for all eternity if I am lying, John and I have not had sex since we met again after all those years. In all the time I’ve been with him, we have not had sex in ANY sense of the word. It is your jealousy and fear that is painting this fictitious picture. It is so wrong! Even now you continue the fantasy after what you’ve done to him, a loving, compassionate Christian man who actually lives by the gospel.I have not tried to. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had.
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